Afterlife Assistants^TM for the Modern Home!

Meet “Bob”, one of our original, eager Afterlife Assistants^TM who has finally found purpose beyond the grave. Call us to find out how we can help you in three easy steps!

Consultation

Call us to discuss your needs; we’ll find you the perfect Afterlife Assistant^TM!

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Reanimation

Tastefully carried out at a private laboratory near you!

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Disposal

Done with your Afterlife Assistant^TM? Call us for discreet removal of their rotting corpse from your premises! Recycling packages available.

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“I couldn’t live without my Afterlife Assistant!! Thank you Your Local Necromancer!!”

Jeremy, 43, Sutton Coldfield

(c) Gill Walker, 2025

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